By George Held
Hollywood, CA (INS). Hugh Hefner announced today that Sarah Palin will be the November centerfold in PLAYBOY magazine. An agreement was reached after Palin spent the weekend getting a private tour of the Playboy mansion here. The November issue, which appears in October, would maximize the influence of her pictorial in helping GOP fortunes in the 2010 mid-term elections.
“We look forward to Sarah as a Venus in—Alaskan—Furs, baring what most men in America have dreamed of seeing in the pages of PLAYBOY,” Hefner said, wearing his usual pajamas and robe and puffing on his pipe. The veteran entrepreneur of male sexual fantasy said Palin’s layout would validate his sharp eye for female pulchritude at 83. “Not to mention what her appearance will do for newsstand sales,” of 
which Palin will reportedly receive 50 per cent.
As for Palin, a likely Presidential contender in 2012, she seemed delighted standing by Hefner’s side. She told the press that becoming the first Alaskan or the first woman President was secondary. “Heck,” she said, “I wanna be the first Playmate in the Oval Office.”
Considering her competition in 2012, Palin said, “After voters see me with a cute cottontail on my tail, the Democratic Party will think twice before running Hillary, sure as shootin’.”
In her own party, potential candidates Mike Huckabee and Mitt Romney are reportedly considering an offer from PLAYGIRL to follow Palin’s almost son-in-law Levi Johnston by posing in the buff.
Lionel B. Schottenheimer, head of the Hollywood Tea Baggers, approved anything Palin might do to get elected. “Heck,” he said, “at a time when our beloved country faces enemies in Washington as dangerous as those abroad, we must gain power by any means necessary. Besides, Sarah’s absolutely a babe.”
Informed of Schottenheimer’s endorsement, Palin winked and said, “You betcha!”
About George Held
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Orlando, FL (INS) – It’s an unholy alliance. Disney recently announced it is buying Marvel. As the final steps go through for the merger, Iron Man and Magneto are joining forces to block the sale.
Disney is playing down the dust up saying that the merger is necessary to give them some edge.
