September 2nd, 2010
By George Held
Rhinebeck, NY (INS). Now that the wedding of Chelsea Clinton has taken place, among the mysteries shrouding her nuptials in this Brigadoon on the Hudson is why the former First Daughter nagged only her father, President Bill Clinton, to lose 20 pounds before the ceremony took place and not her mother, Secretary of [...]
Filed under: Guilt, National News, baby boomer, celebrity, food, government, green, health, marriage, politics, psychology, religion | 5 Comments »
August 30th, 2010
By George Held
New York (INS). Sponsors of the mosque to be located two blocks from the World Trade Center announced today that they will merge the house of worship with a mini-WalMart on the ground floor of the planned Moslem cultural center.
Sheik Rabid al-Hashish, the mosque’s Saudi patron, told INS that in view of the [...]
Filed under: Local News, National News, Obama, complaining, government, hipocracy, money, politics, religion, war | 5 Comments »
August 5th, 2010
By Bill Britton
Special to INS — Andrew Lloyd Weber, whose smash hit, Phantom of the Opera, continues to set records on the world’s stages, has agreed to compose the musical score for The New York Times best-seller, Afghanistan War Logs. “The material is great,” said Weber. “Plus there is no shortage of talent in the [...]
Filed under: celebrity, government, politics, show business, theater, war | 4 Comments »
August 2nd, 2010
By Chuck Bauer
BP announced its recent effort to recap the leaky pipe in the Gulf Coast seems to be working. While a sigh of relief could be heard throughout the company’s brain trust offices, BP execs were not resting on their laurels, and have a backup plan prepared and ready for action.
“Condoms,” proclaimed BP spokesman [...]
Filed under: Catholic, Inventions, Sex, business news, celebrity, conservation, government, hipocracy, politics, religion | 2 Comments »
July 29th, 2010
by Pete Grossman
Just when you were starting to get into the summer groove during the sweet beauty of July, there’s some killjoy advertising a Back-To-School sale. Case in point, Sony.
Recently the electronics powerhouse featured Justin Timberlake in its big Sunday New York Times color insert with the headline “Bring your media together just in time [...]
Filed under: advertising, books, celebrity, children, government, politics, psychology, school | 3 Comments »
July 15th, 2010
By George Held
Cuyahoga Falls, OH. (INS) Stung by the recent loss of its most famous citizens, the city of Cleveland is seeking to follow suit, leaving Ohio bereft of its second largest metropolis. The Municipal Council has appointed a delegation to negotiate with Sun Belt states to cut a deal to move this Rust Belt [...]
Filed under: National News, celebrity, government, money, politics, show business, work | 1 Comment »
June 28th, 2010
By George Held
Washington, D.C. (INS) – That thud you heard on the news the last few weeks was President Obama’s reputation hitting the deck as the Congress passed a watered-down financial reform act and the BP gusher in the Gulf of Mexico continued unabated as the President kept his distance from the disaster.
His timidity has [...]
Filed under: Obama, Uncategorized, celebrity, college, government, hipocracy, money, politics, sports, wall street | 8 Comments »
June 24th, 2010
By Bill Britton
Washington, D.C. (INS) – General Stanley A. McChrystal, the top U.S. commander in Afghanistan, was forced to step down from his post yesterday. His replacement is actually Master Sergeant Goober “Pyle” Heap, not Gen. David Petraeus as widely reported. Goober will assume his duties immediately. McChrystal’s position became untenable after he flipped the [...]
Filed under: National News, Obama, TV News, communication, government, language, newspapers, politics, security, war | 1 Comment »
June 14th, 2010
By Bill Britton
Special to INS — The Wall Street Journal reports that sales of attack chipmunks increased dramatically in 2009. Apparently more than 270 thousand of the small rodents have been purchased by Americans in response to terrorist threats since 2001. Moose Rodin, president of Incisors-for-Hire©, said that his operation near Waco, Texas trained and sold [...]
Filed under: Animals, National News, celebrity, economy, fantasy, government, psychology, war | 6 Comments »
June 10th, 2010
By Giuseppe Cinzano
Washington, D.C. (INS) – After her resignation as a columnist for the Hearst newspaper group following her now infamous call for Israel to “Get the hell out of Palestine,” 89 year-old Helen Thomas, the former dean of the White House Press Corps, admits an obsession caused her downfall and that she wants her [...]
Filed under: Jewish, National News, Obama, TV News, addiction, celebrity, communication, dating, government, hipocracy, politics, racism, religion, work | 2 Comments »
