By Eric Kenning
BISHKEK, Something-stan (INS). Rebel forces continued to consolidate their control over the capital of the strategically located former Soviet republic of Kryzg…Kyrygz…no, that’s not right…Kzygyzrst…well, you probably know  the strategically located former Soviet republic we mean.
The rebels, calling themselves the That’s Not How You Pronounce It Liberation Front, vow to keep fighting until [...]

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By Jirí Hrdina
Washington (INS). Giuseppi Cinzano, a new voice at infauxtainment.com, who poses as a Fairfield County psychotherapist, has been identified as Joseph Safire, the younger brother of the late William Safire, scourge of American Liberals.
Obsessive about keeping his identity secret, Joseph Safire was nevertheless outed today by Myron Biden, Ph.D., a psycholinguistics professor at [...]

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By Giuseppe Cinzano
Vice President Joe Biden managed to once again steal the attention with another of his “misstatements” during what will probably become the most defining moment for President Obama. “This is a big F*#@&g deal Biden said to Obama which managed to subtly slip into the microphone as he introduced the President on the day [...]

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By Giuseppe Cinzano
Chicago, IL (INS). Vice President Joe Biden says he feels the need to pinch himself at times. “When I made the decision to get hair plugs I said to myself, ‘It doesn’t get any better than this.’ Man, was I ever wrong about that.”
Biden was a guest on Oprah Winfrey’s acclaimed television show [...]

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By George Held
Hollywood, CA (INS). Hugh Hefner announced today that Sarah Palin will be the November centerfold in PLAYBOY magazine. An agreement was reached after Palin spent the weekend getting a private tour of the Playboy mansion here. The November issue, which appears in October, would maximize the influence of her pictorial in helping [...]

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By Bill Britton
OSLO, NORWAY (INS) — Last Thursday President Obama, our most prominent immigrant from Hawaii, accepted the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize amid some controversy. The Peace Prize is awarded each year to the world figure who can best hide his real intentions from the Nobel committee. The inventor of dynamite and creator of the [...]

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By Pete Grossman
San “Fransicko” (INS). Conservative, heartfelt, colonoscopy loving talk show host, Michael Savage, is returning to his former, liberal self. The transition involves going back to his old name, “Weiner,” pronounced “Weener” or “Whiner” with the latter being the most likely, as whining is his forte.
“I enjoy whining,” says the newly reformed Weiner. “It’s [...]

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By Pete Grossman
Eureka, CA (INS) An alleged event occurred with unidentified sources reporting that the time allotted for the happening corresponded with an unknown person involved in the situation. Individuals close to the story spoke on the condition of anonymity saying, “The time allotted is consistent with the alleged perpetrator’s disappearance.”
Police report there is a person of interest, [...]

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