By George Held
Intercourse, PA, (INS). INS (Infauxtainment News Service) reports that the refusal of U.S. Army Lt. Col. Terry Lakin to return to Afghanistan for a second tour of duty as a flight surgeon is the tip of the iceberg for so-call Birthers, who deny President Obama’s authority on the assumption that he is not [...]

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By Eric Kenning
BISHKEK, Something-stan (INS). Rebel forces continued to consolidate their control over the capital of the strategically located former Soviet republic of Kryzg…Kyrygz…no, that’s not right…Kzygyzrst…well, you probably know  the strategically located former Soviet republic we mean.
The rebels, calling themselves the That’s Not How You Pronounce It Liberation Front, vow to keep fighting until [...]

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By Jirí Hrdina
Washington (INS). Giuseppi Cinzano, a new voice at infauxtainment.com, who poses as a Fairfield County psychotherapist, has been identified as Joseph Safire, the younger brother of the late William Safire, scourge of American Liberals.
Obsessive about keeping his identity secret, Joseph Safire was nevertheless outed today by Myron Biden, Ph.D., a psycholinguistics professor at [...]

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By Giuseppe Cinzano
Vice President Joe Biden managed to once again steal the attention with another of his “misstatements” during what will probably become the most defining moment for President Obama. “This is a big F*#@&g deal Biden said to Obama which managed to subtly slip into the microphone as he introduced the President on the day [...]

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By Giuseppe Cinzano
Chicago, IL (INS). Vice President Joe Biden says he feels the need to pinch himself at times. “When I made the decision to get hair plugs I said to myself, ‘It doesn’t get any better than this.’ Man, was I ever wrong about that.”
Biden was a guest on Oprah Winfrey’s acclaimed television show [...]

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By Bill Britton
Recognizing shifting U.S. demographics, Walmart’s 2010 product line will include useful accessories specifically designed to appeal to the terrorist segment. “This is an important customer group for us,” said Walmart spokesperson Shabaella Fou. “Plus it promises excellent long-term growth.”
The initial offering will be restricted to three products. “We want to see what’s most viable for [...]

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By Bill Britton
OSLO, NORWAY (INS) — Last Thursday President Obama, our most prominent immigrant from Hawaii, accepted the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize amid some controversy. The Peace Prize is awarded each year to the world figure who can best hide his real intentions from the Nobel committee. The inventor of dynamite and creator of the [...]

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By Pete Grossman
San “Fransicko” (INS). Conservative, heartfelt, colonoscopy loving talk show host, Michael Savage, is returning to his former, liberal self. The transition involves going back to his old name, “Weiner,” pronounced “Weener” or “Whiner” with the latter being the most likely, as whining is his forte.
“I enjoy whining,” says the newly reformed Weiner. “It’s [...]

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By George Held
Mountain View, CA (INS). Now that President Obama has virtually endorsed the public outburst by calling Kanye West a “jackass,” Oogle, the leader in social networking, has announced the creation of Outburst.com, which will debut next Monday, September 21st. Myron Bender, CEO of Oogle, expects record traffic on the site: “In the wake [...]

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By Bill Britton
Mineappolis, MN (INS) Bleiben Dunkel of Minnesota acknowledged today that he is unfamiliar with late entertainer, Michael Jackson. Contacted at his home in the remote village of Waskish, Dunkel said that his TV screen went blank on June 12. When told that he needed a converter box to receive the new digital TV [...]

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