SAVAGE GOING BACK TO WEINER

By Pete Grossman
San “Fransicko” (INS). Conservative, heartfelt, colonoscopy loving talk show host, Michael Savage, is returning to his former, liberal self. The transition involves going back to his old name, “Weiner,” pronounced “Weener” or “Whiner” with the latter being the most likely, as whining is his forte.
“I enjoy whining,” says the newly reformed Weiner. “It’s [...]

PIRATES BOARD SHIP OF STATE

By George Held
Washington, (INS) Somali pirates ravaging the sea lanes off the Horn of Africa have caused disputes among both Democrats and Republicans. While most Americans praise President Obama’s firmness in rescuing Capt. Richard Phillips, left-wing Dems argue the pirates are using the only form of resistance available to an oppressed minority—making armed raids on [...]

“Like” to be Abolished From Speech

By Pete Grossman
Today, President Obama is turning his attention to a vital, national issue by asking congress to introduce a bill abolishing the use of the word “Like” in specific American conversation.
“It is of the utmost importance to the country that people speak properly. My plan is to make sure conversations such as ‘And I’m [...]



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