By Eric Kenning
BISHKEK, Something-stan (INS). Rebel forces continued to consolidate their control over the capital of the strategically located former Soviet republic of Kryzg…Kyrygz…no, that’s not right…Kzygyzrst…well, you probably know  the strategically located former Soviet republic we mean.
The rebels, calling themselves the That’s Not How You Pronounce It Liberation Front, vow to keep fighting until [...]

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By Giuseppe Cinzano
Vice President Joe Biden managed to once again steal the attention with another of his “misstatements” during what will probably become the most defining moment for President Obama. “This is a big F*#@&g deal Biden said to Obama which managed to subtly slip into the microphone as he introduced the President on the day [...]

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By Bill Britton
OSLO, NORWAY (INS) — Last Thursday President Obama, our most prominent immigrant from Hawaii, accepted the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize amid some controversy. The Peace Prize is awarded each year to the world figure who can best hide his real intentions from the Nobel committee. The inventor of dynamite and creator of the [...]

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By Pete Grossman
San “Fransicko” (INS). Conservative, heartfelt, colonoscopy loving talk show host, Michael Savage, is returning to his former, liberal self. The transition involves going back to his old name, “Weiner,” pronounced “Weener” or “Whiner” with the latter being the most likely, as whining is his forte.
“I enjoy whining,” says the newly reformed Weiner. “It’s [...]

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Filed under: Guilt, Obama, celebrity, communication, complaining, gay rights, government, hipocracy, language, politics, psychology, religion, show business | 2 Comments »

By George Held
Mountain View, CA (INS). Now that President Obama has virtually endorsed the public outburst by calling Kanye West a “jackass,” Oogle, the leader in social networking, has announced the creation of Outburst.com, which will debut next Monday, September 21st. Myron Bender, CEO of Oogle, expects record traffic on the site: “In the wake [...]

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By George Held
Washington, (INS) Somali pirates ravaging the sea lanes off the Horn of Africa have caused disputes among both Democrats and Republicans. While most Americans praise President Obama’s firmness in rescuing Capt. Richard Phillips, left-wing Dems argue the pirates are using the only form of resistance available to an oppressed minority—making armed raids on [...]

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By Pete Grossman
Today, President Obama is turning his attention to a vital, national issue by asking congress to introduce a bill abolishing the use of the word “Like” in specific American conversation.
“It is of the utmost importance to the country that people speak properly. My plan is to make sure conversations such as ‘And I’m [...]

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