By Giuseppe Cinzano
Chicago, IL (INS). Vice President Joe Biden says he feels the need to pinch himself at times. “When I made the decision to get hair plugs I said to myself, ‘It doesn’t get any better than this.’ Man, was I ever wrong about that.”
Biden was a guest on Oprah Winfrey’s acclaimed television show [...]

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Filed under: Movies, TV News, books, celebrity, communication, government, hipocracy, language, politics, psychology, show business | No Comments »

By Bill Britton
Recognizing shifting U.S. demographics, Walmart’s 2010 product line will include useful accessories specifically designed to appeal to the terrorist segment. “This is an important customer group for us,” said Walmart spokesperson Shabaella Fou. “Plus it promises excellent long-term growth.”
The initial offering will be restricted to three products. “We want to see what’s most viable for [...]

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Filed under: National News, Uncategorized, electronics, government, hardware, politics, religion, retail, science, security, war | 5 Comments »

By Bill Britton
OSLO, NORWAY (INS) — Last Thursday President Obama, our most prominent immigrant from Hawaii, accepted the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize amid some controversy. The Peace Prize is awarded each year to the world figure who can best hide his real intentions from the Nobel committee. The inventor of dynamite and creator of the [...]

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Filed under: Guilt, National News, Obama, celebrity, government, hipocracy, psychology, war | 1 Comment »

By Pete Grossman
San “Fransicko” (INS). Conservative, heartfelt, colonoscopy loving talk show host, Michael Savage, is returning to his former, liberal self. The transition involves going back to his old name, “Weiner,” pronounced “Weener” or “Whiner” with the latter being the most likely, as whining is his forte.
“I enjoy whining,” says the newly reformed Weiner. “It’s [...]

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Filed under: Guilt, Obama, celebrity, communication, complaining, gay rights, government, hipocracy, language, politics, psychology, religion, show business | 2 Comments »

By George Held
Mountain View, CA (INS). Now that President Obama has virtually endorsed the public outburst by calling Kanye West a “jackass,” Oogle, the leader in social networking, has announced the creation of Outburst.com, which will debut next Monday, September 21st. Myron Bender, CEO of Oogle, expects record traffic on the site: “In the wake [...]

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Filed under: Catholic, Christian, Guilt, Obama, TV, TV News, Twitter, baby boomer, celebrity, complaining, language, music, police, politics, religion, walking, wall street, work | 8 Comments »

By George Held
Washington, (INS) Somali pirates ravaging the sea lanes off the Horn of Africa have caused disputes among both Democrats and Republicans. While most Americans praise President Obama’s firmness in rescuing Capt. Richard Phillips, left-wing Dems argue the pirates are using the only form of resistance available to an oppressed minority—making armed raids on [...]

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Filed under: Obama, government, hipocracy, law, money, politics, security | 5 Comments »

By Pete Grossman
Today, President Obama is turning his attention to a vital, national issue by asking congress to introduce a bill abolishing the use of the word “Like” in specific American conversation.
“It is of the utmost importance to the country that people speak properly. My plan is to make sure conversations such as ‘And I’m [...]

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